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I may have mentioned it before, but, just for laughs, here it is again.


Yes, I shoot weddings, and recently NN and I have been discussing pricing structures, contracts and all the boring stuff. That reminded us both of THE WEDDING FROM HELL. :o

I visited the B&G, as one does, well in advance. Being the trusting Terrier I am, (was), I asked only for a VERY small upfront fee, and when I say small, I mean small. A gesture really. Only enough to buy a Bigmac and fries.........:|
This goodwill payment took them weeks to send, and then for some totally unknown reason, they gave it to the Vicar.:/
No matter. The B&G say they have £250 reserved for buying pics, so I'm not fussed. I charge, (well, I USED TO), on a print basis, so people pay what they will......................

The wedding.
Bride is late. Not in the traditional way, oh no. I mean, she's LATE. Then her mother goes walkabout, (probably buying a small bottle of Whisky or something. :|
The church is decorated with flowers, nice but not OTT. The Vicar is an evangelical type, quite outspoken.
At the end of a ceremony where no-one seemed to care, sing, pray or smile, the families took money OUT of the collection in my sight! :o
At the reception, which was in a social club, in a very run-down area, the bride and her mother complained BITTERLY, that the F**kin' vicar kept talking about God, and not "getting on with it." :mad:
Then, they complained about the flowers, which, it turned out, the church had GIVEN to the B&G free. They described them as "pathetic" and "not what you would expect."
As photographer, I was meant to stay for 2 to 3 hours. The brides mother, however, vanished again, and I had to wait for her to return. While I waited, the guests subjected me, and NN, to insults and "the cold shoulder." We had to wait out in our car, in fact! Sad
The group shots HAD to be taken at this "venue." Let me describe it to you.....
On one side, the shed. This large shed-like mess was the reception venue.
On the left, derelict buildings with broken windows.
On the right, a wall. A big brick wall.
At the front, a main road.
Facing us, across the road; a bookmakers, a Chinese take-away, a chip shop and a taxi office.
The area to move in? THE CAR PARK. (Full btw). :o:o:o

So, after waiting, being abused, ignored, insulted and bored, NN and I went home to prepare the images.
It took a while to edit out bared bottoms, broken glass, rude gestures and surly looking people, but we did it. Wink

I phoned the B&G about 10 days after the event, and took round the preview images in a folder, probably about 150 or so.
Hey!! I noticed they's aquired a new stereo. "That looks loud," I commented............ "Yes" they said; "Cost us £250............"

Well dear reader, can you guess what happens???????????????

£250 reserved for photo's, £250 spent on a stereo? Hmmmm......................:/

Yep. You got it. I was paid NOTHING. Nothing> Nowt, zero, rugger -all, zip, zippo, sweet you-know-what. :mad:

This ISNT going to happen again...........Ever..............Never............Not..................No!

Hope you had a laugh. I do now, looking back. It was a year or two ago.
Its an interestring story all right. It reminds me of one wedding I did a long time ago. It took forever to get paid even the paltry amount I charged (6 months) and I was lucky to get it because the marriage broke up 3 weeks later...
You know Mr T, I've wondered if that marriage lasted. I've never enquired. :/

yes uhmm weddings!!?? i try to avoid them...

just to add to the point

and these photos are the ones that las tand remember forever, after the cake has been eating and the flower died.

uuhmm you supposed to lower the prices just becuase they tought at the last minute about the photographs?

take care

just wanted to say thanks for remiding me of why i dont want to shoot weddings LOL. Great story , i needed a laugh ( sprry it was on your behalf though )
Wow, that's a horror story!!!!
How did you get booked for such a wedding? Fire your agent!
Hey Rufus..........good you can laugh at it now, it did give me a chuckle reading it. Chalk that up to on of life’s experiences.....Rolleyes
Lol... great story! It must be terribly difficult to be wedding photographer full time - no weekends, under pressure constantly, getting abused! :o

When I got married, I must have seen about 15 photographers all up... all of them had a total package price - i.e. x number of hours for photography, photoshopping, prints and album, all included in the price. And you can add extra pages to the albums, more time, enlargements, etc. for extra. Some asked for payment beforehand, some asked for payment on the day... most asked for a sizable deposit...

Now I know why! Big Grin

It's like laws, written for the lowest common denominator. Expect the worst, and plan accordingly....

See, I always used to think that the punters satisfaction was paramount, you know "the customer is always right", Rolleyes and all those stupid things. It's NOT like that though, not at all. Yes, some weddings are nice, some people are fair and reasonable, and some are realistic. Rarely are people fair, reasonable and realistic where weddings are concerned though.............:mad:

I have new pricing structures now, which START at a price I'm happy with if no one buys anything.
I'll trot off after the event happy, having been paid in advance for a package. No advance=no job. I dont need to do it, after all.

"Why?" you may ask. Why dont you "need to do it?" Well, the answer is this: My identity, (my real one!!), doesnt need to be "this-or-that," more money will make me want even more money, and that's a false god.
A decent days work for a decent days pay, works out the same as, "withold the advance-and-I-wont-do-it.

So, never again. No more Mr Nice dog.

I'm good enough to do your wedding, I'm cheaper than some, I know my camera, and I wont take any more nonsense. No sir, read the contract!

(Soap box away). Big Grin
Wow Rufus - that sounds terribleSad

Glad you have worked out a better strategySmile