[matthew]

I don't even have a title for this, but I think it's the key image to a series I took earlier this week. I do have some flexibility in post-processing, but can't re-shoot.

[Don Schaeffer]

It looks a little unfocussed to me--I mean, without subject matter. It's a kind of tour de force. I don't know what details are in the shadows but there doesn't appear to be much.

[Toad]

Hmmm. I like the subject and treatment, but it's not quite clicking for me. Here are a few thoughts which you can discard as you like.

- There is a small shiny or light spot on the left side about 3/4 of the way up I find distracting.

- The crop leaves a bit too much negative space in the top right and botttom left for my tastes - you peer into the inky blackness and can't find anything. Another crop might improve this.

- I would like to see the windows in the background more prominent to give the scene some balance. Maybe if they were moved slightly to improve the balance.

If I can respectfully suggest something more like this...

[Petographer]

I had to really study this image. That's a good thing. At first this looked like a huge building on the left with maybe a stage and a spotlight panning over a crowd of people. Like a concert. Now I see it is merely a flashlight on a gravel covered ground. I'd have to say I like what Toad has done as it does give the image more balance.

[Toad]

Colin: funny you mention the spotlight onthe crowd - that is exactly what I saw when I first looked at it.

[matthew]

Thanks, that's exactly what I need to hear. I know this location very well, so the confusion of scale isn't something that had occurred to me. I also hadn't noticed that bright spot -- I think it's a hole in the roof. It's gone now.

I'll probably move from the 5:4 ratio to a 3:2, cropping off or cloning out the center-top light fixture.

Toad, it took a few minutes for me to spot the changes, they look right. (the reflection of the window in the puddle gives it away.) I really miss the light fixtures marching down the right side, though.

I want this to be the final image in a fairly straightforward documentary series, so it's important to me that I get the feel of this photo right. As the key image, I also want it to stand on its own.

Here's the full file, untouched except that the RAW file has been 'pushed' by almost three stops. I wouldn't want to use the image at this brightness, but it may give an idea what detail is available.



It was a 60 second exposure at f/8 and 28mm focal length. This is the main building of a disused brick factory. The building is over 100 years old, and is a popular spot for clandestine photography.

This photo was taken using three different light sources. There's the warm incandescent flashlight that's in the photo, but I'm also standing directly behind the flashlight shining a powerful LED flashlight (very slightly green) to widen the beam path and add illumination to the pillars and foreground. Simultaneously, I'm using an even more powerful white LED torch with a really tight beam to spotlight the light fixtures, the far wall, and the door at the far end of the shed. The glow in the windows is cast by a streetlight about 50 metres in front of the building. There was no ambient light, I carried it all in with me.

[matthew]

maybe something more like this?



...and I still don't have a title.

[Toad]

Hmmm. I think I prefer the original unretouched photo of all submitted including my own hack. A little off the top and right and you have a winner IMO. I think the extra detail in the black is needed here...

[Irma]

When I saw your picture fist time #1 I understand it immediately, but I found the subjects a bit isolated.. lacking of relation or environment... I liked Toad's suggestions becaues it confines the subjects, and gives a bit more of relation, when he lightents up the windows... but still I was feeling the picture a bit lack of environment...

I think your unretouched picture is giving a lot of information about the environment in a very subtle way... and it is not looking cluttered at all... I can see a very ingenious triangled composition... What catches my attention is the structures. In the original picture they look great and they are like the meeting point between the structures of the windows in the shade and the spot light...

Very nice picture...